You just received a compliment. It was meaningful. It’s made you feel good. How come? 

“Like apples of gold in silver carvings is a word spoken at the right time” – Proverbs 25:11

You gave someone else a meaningful compliment and you can tell it made them feel good. How did their response make you feel?

 What kind of compliments have meant the most to you? Do you think the following are key things that make a meaningful compliment?

• Something the recipient values, a part of their personal value system.
• Something the recipient has put effort in. 
• Genuine, sincere. It’s something valuable to you, the compliment giver. 
• You’re someone the recipient respects. 
• Timing – it’s right when the recipient needed to hear it, and in the most comfortable platform for them.

But sometimes, someone’s compliment, whether we are the recipient or the giver, just doesn’t get as received well as intended, even if you can check off those key things. What can be some reasons? Perhaps…

• Such a low self-esteem that the compliment has nothing to grip to.
• Misunderstood motive, perhaps because they have a somewhat disingenuous motive when they compliment, or because of previous experiences. Eg “Oh they’re just trying to be nice” or “Oh, they just want something from me”. 
• Lack of humility/high expectations of self. Yeah, I feel this is different from low self-esteem. Compliment doesn’t reach the height they want and so it’s deemed invalid. 
• A very confident and secure individual that doesn’t need validation from others. Well, perhaps that’s actually kinda cool.

What do you think we can we do about that, as a recipient and as a giver? Maybe that can be a musing for another time. 

Of course, some appreciate it and just express it differently, especially in some cultures that think it wouldn’t be humble to just accept the compliment. I’ve always felt that Americans seem to be pretty good at accepting compliments, whereas say the Danish, it would go against everything they know.

So, what are your thoughts? And how would you say you personally receive a compliment? Did this post inspire you to give someone a meaningful compliment today? Would love to hear from you. 😊